The night a little 6lb 13oz little girl was placed beside my face for me to see for the first time...my life was changed forever. Let me go back further...The evening of December 31, 2012, I made a vow to love and cherish the man of my dreams..my friend...my first love. Okay! Let me fast forward 3 years....the afternoon a little 7lb 3oz little girl was sucking her thumb ferociously, it was quite apparent she was hungry and extremely eager for her very first feeding outside of the womb, I thought to myself, "Wow, my ability to love another child just tripled its capacity". All of these moments, the emotions, the sacrifices, the processes and numerous decisions....have resulted in the adding of titles to my identify successfully. Not just any title, but "the" title of titles. The title of Mom. The title of Wife. Either one has been life changing, thought provoking and a definitie journey of discovering who I really am and have become.
As a little girl, I would pretend play I was taking care of my dolls, preparing and cooking meals on my play kitchen set and utensils. I can remember cutting up my grandmother's hydrangea leaves, as these were "collard greens" for my family. I remember placing mud pies and mud cakes in the oven. I remember wrapping my babies in blankets, holding them close as I fed them their bottles. In high school, I started to dream about my wedding and the day I would marry my husband. All was well. All was right. All would be perfect.
When dreaming of being a mom, or being a wife, I only dreamed about the good, the happy and the pretty. Why is that? Why do we dream big thoughts without considering the work that has to happen to be a mother or wife?
When considering being a wife, I did not focus much on what it took to truly maintain a happy marriage, what accepting someone 100% "really" meant, navigating the road of marriage.. or in simple terms, "what we make it to be". Do not get me wrong nor misunderstand me. I was not naive to the seriousness of marriage nor was I inconversant of the responsibilities of being married. However, I believe it is easy to become consumed with the "process"....the couture, designer wedding gown, the perfect venue, and having the perfect mate.
When considering being a mom, I did not make such decision with 2am feedings in the forefront of my brain, nor did I consider the joys of teething and potty training! The spills, spit-up, poop...need I say more? It is funny how "real" never creeps in, 100%, when we are considering fulfilling the titles of wife and mom OR both!
One thing I know for sure folks.....being a wife, being a mother....they are both more than a notion. Loving my husband is great. Liking him is fantastic! Keith loving me is great! Keith liking me is fantastic! My husband and I are quite opposite, which I am sure what attracts us to each other constantly! He's reserved...an organizer/ planner by nature. I am a talker....go-getter/spontaneous by nature. You see where I am going with this? LOL! Despite being somewhat opposites, our goals are the same. We share a common ground....till death do us part. When are in this together...forever.
McKenzie and Madison were a bonus! Those two really shook things up! Neither one of us really knew exactly (100%) what this thing called parenting would really do to us. From the early days of "forced insominia" to the joys of experiencing the firsts.....talking, walking, pottying,... It has been more than a notion. Everything has been more than a notion. Discussing the good, bad and ugly, sharing and reaching our goals together, accepting and embracing each other, navigating the difficult times, celebrating our family successes....all more than a notion.
If you are considering marriage....If you are considering becoming a mother...consider "everything"! Organize your life for whatever title you are considering, as the journey will be well worth the preparation. Until next time, Love yourself!